Hi! I’m Sam Wakefield, nineteen year old mum to Wesley, who’s four. Before you all have a knowing smirk - no, I’m not married and I am perfectly capable of looking after my son, both financially and emotionally on my own thank you very much! So the rest of you villagers can keep your unwanted opinions to yourselves! I live with Wes in the flat over the Post Office and I supplement my benefit by cleaning for people like the Colonel and the Gibsons. My son wants for nothing! So Littlewich, put that in your pipe and smoke it – I would!
And I'm Wesley Wakefield and I'm four years old and Sam's my mummy and I love her very much! We live in a teeny-tiny flat over the post-office, which is good coz Doris who works there can sometimes look after me when mummy has to and meet her friends. Mummy has lots of friends but I wish she wouldn't go out so much sometimes as I get a bit scared when it's dark though sometimes uncle John comes round to keep me company and I'm not supposed to tell anybody and he shouts at mummy for leaving me on my own.